I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
