I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
