I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
