thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there's paper in my vomit.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
