everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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