she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
