All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
