it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
