I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
