lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
