I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
whose parrot is this?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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