That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
