for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
