it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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