so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize