i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
