is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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