we're blogging at a bar
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize