Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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