I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
