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• (323): View more from California

  i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Special does not even begin to describe that text.

  Fav 6 4189 2078

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"

  Fav 64 5671 1447

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

  Fav 15 4546 902

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?

  Fav 14 1341 5186

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Clearly I went along with it

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• (904): View more from Florida

  hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

  Fav 6 3162 1039

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

  Fav 17 1188 4347

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

  Fav 6 3995 1178

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

  Fav 2 2505 923

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.

  Fav 11 1277 4766

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets

  Fav 5 564 881

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I was emotionally compromised.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I fill condoms, not promises.

  Fav 4 1783 850

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid

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