i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
