And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
