is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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