you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
