Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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