An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You have to summon your inner elephant
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
