I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
