I wanna bring you to show and tell
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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