i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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