You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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