So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
