At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize