what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
