I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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