Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
