I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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