idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
