she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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