Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
