I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she looked like the before picture.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
