So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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