I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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