Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
