i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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