Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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