office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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