I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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