SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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