And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize