I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
you made out with another girl for some wings
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize