If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
