am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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