Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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