i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
