That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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