just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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