I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
