It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
