i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize