He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
