: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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