We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
