i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
