I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
