he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
