remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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