You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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