You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
