I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
