Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You took a bar mat shot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
