do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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