He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
