this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
