fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize