PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
