im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
